10. When being pulled over by a cop and he or she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, you have been caught speeding, how much do you think you were going?" Don't say, "Well you must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."
9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when you haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron or born yesterday.
8. When your older sister is having her period or PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have you been putting on a little weight?" It's a bitch slap waiting to happen.
7. When your brother has a porno magazine and you see it don't say, "I thought you were gay!" Though it may be funny, if you're a boy, he'll kill you, if you're a girl he'll ruin your reputation in anyway possible.
6. When your parents ask if you have cleaned your room don't say, "I was doing IMPORTANT things!"
5. If your parents are very uptight about the topic of sex don't ask, "Where do babies come from?" Though their embarrassment is priceless to you, they may either give you some bullcrap or worse, tell you the horrible truth.
4. If your at confessionals, don't say, "Father, I have sinned, I have slept with a woman before I was married. But, at least I did it with more people than you!" You'd probably go to hell because he does some magic and BAM you're there. Okay, that's not how it is but I'm Jewish, I don't know what happens!
3. Don't say to a Justin Bieber fan, "She (that was intentional) sucks." Their stupidity will make you lose five IQ points. Same goes with hardcore Green Day fans (don't f*** with us) though, we maybe stupid or may not be. It's hard to tell.
2. Never say to a anti-morning person (obviously in the morning) "Good morning! Wonderful day, isn't it?" This includes a smile on your face. He or she will f*cking hate your guts for that portion of the day. Maybe even kick you in the nuts (if you're a male) or slap you.
1. Never ever EVER say to a know-it-all they're wrong, they will prove their way into anything. They will show your mistakes and prove they are right. Know-it-alls know how to get under someone's skin. You have been warned.
9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when you haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron or born yesterday.
8. When your older sister is having her period or PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have you been putting on a little weight?" It's a bitch slap waiting to happen.
7. When your brother has a porno magazine and you see it don't say, "I thought you were gay!" Though it may be funny, if you're a boy, he'll kill you, if you're a girl he'll ruin your reputation in anyway possible.
6. When your parents ask if you have cleaned your room don't say, "I was doing IMPORTANT things!"
5. If your parents are very uptight about the topic of sex don't ask, "Where do babies come from?" Though their embarrassment is priceless to you, they may either give you some bullcrap or worse, tell you the horrible truth.
4. If your at confessionals, don't say, "Father, I have sinned, I have slept with a woman before I was married. But, at least I did it with more people than you!" You'd probably go to hell because he does some magic and BAM you're there. Okay, that's not how it is but I'm Jewish, I don't know what happens!
3. Don't say to a Justin Bieber fan, "She (that was intentional) sucks." Their stupidity will make you lose five IQ points. Same goes with hardcore Green Day fans (don't f*** with us) though, we maybe stupid or may not be. It's hard to tell.
2. Never say to a anti-morning person (obviously in the morning) "Good morning! Wonderful day, isn't it?" This includes a smile on your face. He or she will f*cking hate your guts for that portion of the day. Maybe even kick you in the nuts (if you're a male) or slap you.
1. Never ever EVER say to a know-it-all they're wrong, they will prove their way into anything. They will show your mistakes and prove they are right. Know-it-alls know how to get under someone's skin. You have been warned.
from the internet :)
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds you of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his home adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he answers he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds you of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his home adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he answers he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying random things until u cry laughing
5. continue reading this
6. Walk up to siblings and say random things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up jay leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add random people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying random things until u cry laughing
5. continue reading this
6. Walk up to siblings and say random things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up jay leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add random people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
okay, on my 5 completely random things to do...
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as you can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as you can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend you try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as you can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as you can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend you try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
The top six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
1.everyone around you has an attitude problem
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to punch someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to punch someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*